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The main theme of the memoir was being the child of the Holocaust survivors and how it impacted and influenced their lives.
I was a Holocaust Survivor
The Holocaust survivors were forever changed by its events. There are various psychological and social effects. These impacts can be seen in Bernice Eisenstein parents and friends (and they also impact her greatly, hence the purpose for the book). Traumatic memories of these events do not really go away for the survivors. They are always with them. Bernice Eisenstein examined the impact the Holocaust had on her parents. She pressed for information and learned about their experiences and memories. They became part of her memories and herself and stayed with her or came up often. Some survivors, like Bernice Eisenstein parents wish to move on with their lives as soon as possible and try to regain the normalcy their lives before the trauma had (Psychology of Survivors, Shelton, 2005). They gathered the remaining aspects of their previous life, married, moved to Canada and had children (one child before they moved). They left the past behind (moving away also likely helped them escape the terrible memories)
Oyf Simchas (coming together as survivors)
Seeking justice and remembering those who were lost -The focus on the trial of Adolph Eichmann was part of this. To see the evil responsible for part of the atrocity to be brought to justice can bring some closure to a victim. In fact her father joined the polish paramilitary to seek out Nazi collaborators (to find justice for his parents and sisters). It was also a way of seeing attention, recognition and acknowledgment for what had happened “I felt them listen to me 'never forget'” (Eisenstein, 2006). The memory and remembrance of those who were lost seems to be more important to the survivors, as they were to her parents. In her book there is much more focus on the people who were lost, rather than the people who did it. We learn of her mother who lost her brother Lemel and of her father who lost his parents and two sisters. We also learn of the family friends who lost families (e.g. wife and young child, entire families, and so on) and friends. Their memory of the experiences is also important. Such memories include when a family friend helped save her mother's life, the discovery of the ring, the parents meeting and marrying, and so on. Her parents and family friends would come together and celebrated. Often the mother would be very proud when she made too much at celebrations. This shows and appreciation and celebrations of what they had now compared to what they were deprived of during the war. All of them had lost something or someone during the Holocaust. They came together under those similar aspects, loss and sorrow; an understanding and connection to the feelings they all felt. They had all suffered, differently and individual and by coming together they didn't have to suffer alone. They could all move on to their new lives together, while never forgetting what was lost. “adhere one to another with s bond difficult to duplicate, even with their own children” (Eisenstein, 2006). This was the connection Bernice Eisenstein was trying to learn about and understand so she could better understand her parents and impact the Holocaust had on them.
Psychologically/social impact of Survivors
“She talked about her husband and the war and frequently interrupted herself with, 'Dahlink, if I started crying I would never be able to stop'. I had heard these words spoken before, by other members of the group” (Eisenstein, 2006, p. 172).
After a traumatic event survivors will feel a great psychological and emotional impact. A 1964 study by Niederland (as cited by Shelton, 2005) found the existence of “survivor syndrome”. Symptoms of this include chronic anxiety or fear, fear of persecutions, depression, nightmares, psychosomatic disorders, anhedonia, isolation, social withdrawal, fatigue, hypochondria, inability to concentrate, irritability, mistrustful attitude and profound alteration of personal identity. Some of these symptoms were shown through the survivors. For example, the Grandfather's coldness, depression and distance, or the father's periods of silence and pacing“ I didn't feel any better when I read that the unresolved conflict survivors have with aggression makes it hard for their children to look up to them as figures of authority (Eisenstein, 2006, p. 46). Her father often showed high stress (e.g. heart attacks and so on) and irritability. “laughing when he preferred quiet, being quiet when he wanted an answer, disagreeing when he wanted agreement – whatever – I had never been able to figure out exactly what spark I provided to ignite him”(Eisenstein, 2006)
The parents and the group of friends were very close knit. She often described the relationship and dynamic as a “shtetl” (a small town or Jewish community that was very close and was not influenced or changed much by outside influenced). This may have reflected their desire to keep their traditions and memories alive, but to also prevent persecution or misunderstanding from outside sources (or to stay close with other survivors and immigrants having the same experiences). They may/often try to avoid talking about it or seeing/experiencing certain stimuli because the memories are too painful or overwhelming.
They had come to understand the world as a scary, cruel and harsh place and felt the need to be cautious.
Survivors will also try to avoid remembering or discussing the events. The fact that the parents did not often speak of what happened is an indicator of this. Another example is the father's refusal to look at the drawings of Holocaust survivors or the mother feeling ill upon revisiting Auschwitz . Sometimes, to stop themselves from being psychologically/emotionally vulnerable, they closed that part of themselves off. “I knew that the past was something not to be ventured into. I had learned from the handful of times I had asked. My father could only begin to answer with a few willing words and then stop. He would cry”. (Eisenstein, 2006, p. 36). Also, when the parents and friends went to see movies about the Holocaust, She noted that they would always leave emotionally intact and that they were looking at these movies (and so on) more for authenticity (to the actual experience) (Eisenstein, 2006). To them they had already experienced such terrible things so they approached such subjects more analytically (this could have been used as an emotional shield).
Survivors feel as if their senses of security, familiarity, and continuity have been broken (source 1). They will feel as though their lives are vulnerable and could be changed quickly. Many characters note their close calls with death, such as the mother who was saved by a friend. They will move towards situations that offer those senses (e.g. why they moved to Canada) and try to move forwards with their lives.
I have lost and gained during my lifetime. I have seen human nature at its worst and best. Yet, I still believe with all my heart in living and enjoying all that life has to offer. I have been blessed with a wonderful family who reaffirm for me that goodness exists in the world. (Regina Eisenstein, 2005)
Many feel feelings of guilt, regret and sadness. They may question why they were able to live while others did not, or wish they could have done something to stop terrible events (these events are generally out of their control, but the guilt is there regardless).Though it was not stated explicitly, this psychological effect can be seen in her parents and parent's friends. In the book she imagines her father as a western hero, galloping into Auschwitz, freeing the prisoners and rescuing his brother. Her father seemed to possess a sense or heroism and strength in showing his love. For example, “I'd lie down in front of a truck for you, was another one of my father's familiar phrases, a statement of his desire to sacrifice himself, if necessary, to be a shield for those he loved” (Eisenstein, 2006, p. 34). During the Holocaust, her father was unable to help his family (it was out of his control). He obviously felt a great sense of loss and regret as many survivors did in the same situations. As a result of such a traumatic loss he truly understood the value of family and love. Her father wasn't very emotionally open with her and had a great deal of difficult discussing his past, leaving her feeling a bit excluded.
I was a child of Holocaust survivors – The impact of being a child of survivors
Is it funny enough, is it sad enough?Am I too whiny, too angry, too petulant? Boo hoo, poor little survivors' child. . . . You see, I have this problem-- growing up in the household of my parents was not tragic, but their past was. My life was not cursed, theirs was. They were born under an unfavorable star and forced to sew it onto their clothing. Yet here I am, some Jewish Sisyphus, pushing history and memory uphill, wondering what I'm supposed to be, and what I really feel like is a rebellious child, wanting to stand before my parents and say, Here, take it, it's yours, I don't want it. (Eisenstein, 2006, p. 53)
“My parents and their friends, once they came to a new land, never knew that their past drew and unseen shadow over the lives they brought into the world. Only the shadow knows and it is trying to speak.” (Eisenstein, 2006, p.72).The impact of being a survivor of such a terrible and traumatic event does not stop at the individual. It extends to others, especially their children (other generations) (Shelton, 2005). According to the Psychology of survivors (Shelton, 2005), the more evident the effect is on the parent, the more likely it is to impact the child. Bernice Eisenstein had always known her parents were Holocaust survivors, but the trial of Adolph Eichmann, the attention her family paid to it and likely the witness testimony and emotional responses sparked her interest in it.
In a study done in 1975, thirty years after the Holocaust, all the children of survivors had known of their parents survivor hood for as long as they could remember . . .Most children, however, had only fragmentary knowledge of isolated details. Some parents had withheld all information about their experiences in the past, while others had constantly repeated stories about their past from the time their children were little. (Williams, The Impact of the Holocaust on survivors and their children, 1993)
In comparison (to the above quote) Eisenstein states that: “Knowing that the Holocaust happened was not enough, I needed to know what it had done to my parents”(Eisenstein, 2006. P. 24)
Her parents did not talk in excess about their pasts (part of the 'moving forward' attitude). This is a way to not burden her with the thoughts, pain and memories of such atrocities or maybe to prevent themselves from feeling those negative emotions.“even though the past was something my parents tried to keep at distant from their children, out of harms reach, it inevitably shadowed the landscape in which we would grow” (Eisenstein, 2006, p. 27). She was interested however as this was part of her parents past, and part of her past.
At the beginning of the book describes how in certain situations she would bring up the fact that her “parents were in Auschwitz” (Eisenstein, 2006). This could very well relate to the sense of awe that many survivor children had at their parent's ability to overcome such terrible obstacles and odds. She also admits this was a way of gaining sympathy, attention or respect. It also could relate to the sense and need for recognition and attention of the pain and atrocities.
There are a variety of negative and positive effects of this. In the book she has some trouble communicating with her parents, particularly her father. He often had difficulty telling what happened (because of the traumatic nature) and was a bit emotionally closed off (as were the grandparents, who viewed her as “rebellious at times”). Some survivors may also have trouble relating the their children, for example
I never doubted the fierce love my father had for me, but there were times when I longed for a simpler, less heroic expression of it. An openness or curiosity about what I was thinking or what my interests were. (Eisenstein, 2006, p. 34)
She had trouble pressing people for information due to the traumatic nature of the subject (she was afraid to cause them or open their pain) (Williams 1993). She learned of the stories through smaller pieces and through her mother (who was a bit more open about the subject). As she learned more about her parents and their friends she began to understand their stories and feelings “The collective memory of a generation speaks and I am bound to listen, see its horrors, and feel its outrage.” (Eisenstein, 2006, p. 2). Although she felt a bit excluded and uncertain about aspects of their past. “I will never be able to know the truth of what my parents had experienced . . . to know the full extent of their loss” (Eisenstein, 2006, p.178).
Another effect is the pain that survivors of children often feel “Children of survivors may despair at not being able to relieve the pain of their parents or compensate for their losses” (Shelton, 2005). She expressed her guilt over being “rebellious” (e.g. after what happened to them, etc.) and her regret over causing them emotional anguish (e.g. by bringing the topic up etc.)“he got up and walked out of the room, leaving me upset with myself that I hadn't better anticipated his reaction, and feeling sick with regret that I had opened up his pain” (Eisenstein, 2006, p. 97). Survivors pasts emotionally influence and impact their children.“Their past shaped my loneliness and anger, and sculpted the meaning of loss and of love.”(Eisenstein, 2006). Throughout the book she is trying to connect with her parents past, to understand them. Feelings of guilt, anger, sadness, exclusion, and ambivalence are shown. “The heaviest part of my baggage was my parent's history” (Eisenstein, 2006, p. 22). Like many children of survivors, she felt as though she shouldn't be consumed with it, and that people wouldn't understand why she was consumed with it when it didn't directly happen to her. But throughout the memoir she learns and discovers that their (parents) past is part of her.
After I described the movie to my father, he had only one question: Why would you want to see something that did this to you? because it's there . . . Because I wanted to see a replication of Auschwitz and be able to imagine my mother and father standing in the background among the other starving inmates. In that way, I thought I could find them. (Eisenstein, 2006)
On the positive side, she also gained a variety of positive aspects from her parents, their friends and their experiences. Resilience (e.g. to keep moving forward despite setbacks), adaptability (e.g. new country, new job, etc.), initiative, tenacity, hard work (had to work their way up from very little), and the value of the past, closeness, family, love and memories.
Second generation children are now parents themselves. Thought they were born after the war, they are heirs to the Holocaust and the bridge between two worlds. Many bear the names of grandparents, whom they have never net. For them, the Holocaust is not an abstract, historical phenomenon. It is their past, their parent’s lives, their grandparents deaths. They are intimately involved. For the second generation the six million is not merely a statistic. It is their families, it is their parents, their brothers and sisters and millions of other Jewish brothers and sister. (Williams, 1993)
Eisenstein, B., (2006). I was a child of Holocaust Survivors. Toronto, On. McClelland & Stewart.
Eisenstein, R. (2005). Regina Eisenstein. Jewish Foundation Of Greater Toronto. Retrieved November 22nd 2011 from http://www.feduja.org/bookoflife/story_Eisenstein_Regina1.html
Shelton., L. D, (2005). Eichmann Trial. Genocide and Crimes Against Humanity. Retrieved November 20th from http://www.enotes.com/eichmann-trial-reference/eichmann-trial
Williams, S., (1993). The Impact of the Holocaust on survivors and their children. Retrieved November 22nd 2011 from http://www.sandrawilliams.org/HOLOCAUST/holocaust.html
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